For the past few months something has been laid on my heart. I truly feel as though God is leading my life in a new direction. The only problem is, that direction is not what makes some of the people i love the most happiest. Over the lat 2 months i have felt that I should not return to school after this semester. I kept pushing those thoughts out of my mind, but doing so has made me depressed and ultimatley a less happy person. Although i know that not going back is the right decision for me, i feel as though i cannot go through with it due to the opinion of others. I should not have to feel this way. I am so focused on dissapointing others that i, myself cannot be a happy person. Should i sacrafice what God and I want for my life? I decided today that i cannot. I can't lose anymore sleep, i can't fet sick over it anymore, i can't let it consume me anymore. I need to implement my life plan so that i may become the person God wants me to be.I just wish i had the support and approval i needed, because without this I cannot be truly happy.
Adley is now my main priority. God has shown me that I am firstly a mother now, and I am happy about that. When thinking about school i feel depressed, overwhlmed, anxious and sad. I want to be close to my daughter. I want to be able to financially support my family, sooner than later. I want to be a good wife and mother and I feel that the oly way I can do that is to stop school and start a career. I am sure that God will open doors for me, I honestly believe this is what he wants for me. Whenever i think about it I feel happy, something i haven't felt in a very long time. I feel like myself.
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